That's the Rub
by IKnowUKnowIKnow
Summary: So sorry for the delay in this story, computer issues are the pits. Chapters 5 and 6 are now up and the story's complete. I hope you enjoy.
1. That's the Rub

**This starts out at the end of Table 34.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned New Girl, but I don't.**

* * *

He wasn't an idiot. He knew things weren't going to go back to normal, not for him anyway. In truth, the kiss hadn't been premeditated, but it most certainly was not an unconscious act. He doesn't know what exactly set him into motion at that moment, but that kiss had articulated everything he felt for her into 20 seconds of unquestionable clarity. And now here he sat, after a long day of denials and lies. Alone, feeling like a coward, and missing the feel of her arms around him during the world's most awkward hug.

* * *

He heard a soft knock at his door and for a second he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He'd hoped he wouldn't have to pretend everything was fine for just a little while longer. Maybe even long enough for him to start believing that the kiss really _hadn't_ meant anything. Or at least more than - looking at his clock - one hour and thirty seven minutes since the last time he'd lied about it.

The second knock wasn't louder than the first, but seemed more insistent. He hauled himself to the edge of the bed and reluctantly planted his feet on the ground. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, he stood. In his head, he started, what would likely be, a never-ending mantra. '_He could do this, he could do this; for her sake he could be normal.'_ Turning the knob and pulling the door open, he saw the person he expected least.

"Cece, what are you doing here?" He said in a hushed voice, stepping back to let her in.

She slipped past him quickly, like she was running from the thought of turning back around. "Shut the door", she hissed; pacing about the room and wringing her hands. "Sit down, we need to talk."

He followed her instructions, partly because he could tell she was upset, but mostly because he was a little afraid of her right now. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he warily observed her indecisive wondering. When the initial shock of her being there wore off, it dawned on him. "Oh my god, are you here with Schmidt?"

"Shhhh!" She stopped abruptly and scowled at him. "This isn't about me!" she half yelled.

Sighing with her entire body, the icy glare softened into more of a thoughtful frown. "Nick, Jess has been my very best friend forever and do you know why?" Recognizing a rhetorical question when he heard one, he remained silent. "It's because selflessly, she makes me feel like a better person simply, because she wants to be my friend. She's kinder and more sincere than anyone I've ever known. She's hopeful, no matter what the circumstance and will always find a way to see good in everything. That does not mean that people like you and me don't let her down; she's just better at hiding it than most."

She sat down on the bed next to him, looking down at her hands. "I meant what I said at the convention today, about hurting the people we care about, because we act without thinking of the consequences. I've known you for a year and a half and as weird as it sounds, I consider you a friend. So, I'm going to give you a piece of advice. Take a look at your life since you met Jess. Think about how you've changed, how she's unknowingly changed you for the better. Then decide if kissing her was worth the consequences."

As her words died off she stood from the bed and walked towards the door. With a slight hesitation in his voice he asked, "Hey Cece?"

Over her shoulder she replied, "Yeah, Miller?"

"What if the consequence of kissing her, is having to live with the fact that it meant something. That it meant everything and now I don't know how to tell her? I don't even know if I should tell her."

"Well, that's the rub now, isn't it?" With that she left, soundlessly pulling the door behind her.

* * *

**To be continued?**


	2. Soul Searchers dot com

**Thanks everyone for the great reviews and encouragement (and the follows and favs). I had actually started this up as a completely different story, because I'd lost a little steam and the ideas weren't really coming out the way I'd wanted. But then I thought of Cece and how, if I were her, I wouldn't be able to let this go. So, moving on, let me know what you think. Oh and I don't own anything New Girl related.**

~At the loft~

"Cece, it's only been three weeks. This is _completely_ ridiculous!"

"Listen Jess, I love you, but thanks to Schmidt's oddly endearing speech at the convention, I've been asked out on a ton of coffee and dinner dates. I want to be a good friend, but we've spent almost all of your free time on my couch watching romantic comedies; while you eat pickles and ice cream. I can only come up with three reasons why someone would find that terrible combination edible.

Number one, you're pregnant with doctor Sam's illegitimate baby." At this comment Jess' eyes widened to comical proportions as she opened her mouth to object.

With a pointed finger Cece said, "Uh uh, I'm not done. Number two, you've gone completely mad. Or three, you are punishing yourself for something. And honestly, I, for the life of me can't figure out what it could possibly be.

Oh and there is also option D, which is a mixture of; one, two, and three."

Crossing her arms over her chest and putting on her best indignant face Jess said, "I'll have you know, it's option E, none of the above. I simply enjoy both pickles and ice cream."

"Babe, lots of people do. They just don't use the pickle like a spoon."

"Cece, I get it. I'm interfering with your crusade to find an Indian husband. I just…I needed to get out of the loft for a bit."

Taking a hold of her friend's hand, Cece considered dropping the subject. She knew the real reason Jess was spending so much time at her apartment. Even though she and Nick had talked about what happened, she'd still been dodging him whenever she could. She was pretty sure Jess put in more office hours than people with full-time jobs. The worst part it seemed was that Nick was giving up; even after their late night talk. So, Cece pushed again.

"Well, maybe a few nights out with some handsome suitors will do you good then, yeah?"

"Cece, dating sites don't attract the "suitor" type. Just perverts and desperate guys who live in their moms' basements."

Trying to reason with her Cece said, "They're not all losers, some of them are just a little awkward. Maybe you just need to find someone whose awkwardness is compatible with your own, no offence."

With these last words, the ghost of a smile passed over Jess' face. "Alright, but I'm writing the profile."

"Finally!" Cece said clapping her hands together. "Let's get to it then."

* * *

"Really, Cece? I'm a roller derby girl?" Jess' hands were on her hips and she looked exasperated.

"What? It's believable. You own a pair of roller skates, right?"

"Yes, but…ugg! Jess threw her hands up in frustration trying to remember why she had agreed to do this in the first place. "Are you going to take this seriously? It's already going to be hard enough to find guys who aren't yucky. Telling them I'm in a non-professional sport, where girls bump into each other and might accidentally tear their clothes during the mandatory cat fight, is a terrible idea."

"Yucky? Cece rolled her eyes. "Jess, you have got to loosen up and try to have some fun with this."

"But if I put who I really am, no one is going to want to date me. I'm a thirty-three year old, part-time, night school teacher. I don't travel, I don't save the children and I most definitely don't roller derby."

Cece moved closer to Jess and took her hands. "Alright, let's switch gears for a second. Look at the guys you've dated. Paul was an adorable teacher with a heart of gold. Russell, I'm not really sure what he did, but he was handsome and successful. Sam was drop dead gorgeous and a pediatrician. Any guy would be lucky to have you."

Jess wasn't buying into it so easily. "Okay, let's look at the other men in my life who've been attracted to me. Spencer, who _cheated_ on me! And Paul, while he was adorable and a teacher, he was also super clingy and an ugly crier. Let's not forget he cheated on his girlfriend, _with_ me. And the cherry on top, our creepy landlord who wanted to have a threesome with me and Nick?"

"And then there's Nick…" Cece said, purposefully letting her words hang in the air.

"Shut it down Cece, just shut it down. This has nothing to do with Nick!"

Cece knew what she was doing when she brought up his name. She knew that Jess would do just about anything to avoid admitting she, maybe, had a thing for Nick. Her stubbornness would always get the best of her when it came to him. "Alright then, let's get this thing posted and go out for lunch. When we get back, I bet you'll have fifty new messages. And P.S., if you leave in the part about being a roller derby, you might even have a couple marriage proposals."

Jess threw a pillow at Cece, which missed her by about three feet, but at least she was smiling again.

* * *

They were about to walk out the door for lunch when Cece said, "Hey, I need to pee quick before we go. I'll meet you by the elevators."

"Ok."

When the door closed behind her, she hurried down the hall and knocked on Nick's door. No answer. She knocked again, still no answer. "Nick if you're in there, make sure you're decent, cause I'm coming in."

Opening his door, she looked around seeing no signs of him. So she stepped over to his desk; picking up a post-it note, she wrote:

_www SoulSearchers dot com_

_You're welcome,_

_Cece_

**Thankfully SoulSearchers is not actually a real website, because I'm not sure I could have come up with something else. **** Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it (please review if you have the time).**


	3. What a Stupid Name

**Thank you to everyone who's read the story and a special thanks to those who reviewed/faved/follow. Sorry for the length of this chapter, I didn't know where to break it up. I'm now paranoid that it feels forced, still, I hope you enjoy! I don't own anything New Girl.**

~Slow night bartending~

He'd just finished wiping down the bar for the tenth time since he'd gotten there, forty-nine minutes ago. His nine customers, three of which were regulars, had not been particularly chatty tonight. He even tried to start up a conversation about conspiracy theories with Raymond, just to muzzle his thoughts of her.

They'd spent the entire day at the convention trying to convince each other that the kiss had meant nothing to either one of them. He'd even tried to get her to admit that wanting to run away with Sam proved it meant something to her. But later that night, he couldn't stand to see her cry anymore. So, he'd promised to never kiss her again and if that promise would give him back her friendship, he would keep it.

There was one thing bugging him about that night though. He could have sworn - after their weird hug in the hall - when he'd said "let's not ever do that again", she'd actually said "_do it again_". Like maybe she wouldn't mind it so much if he hugged her again sometime. Which could also mean she wasn't completely sure about not wanting him to kiss her again either. He wondered if this realization was what caught her off guard, forcing out that bizarre "Night Miller" comment. So, he had to admit to the tiniest bit of satisfaction of her recent avoidances. Was she running?

Of course there was still that nasty pessimist living inside him, telling him he'd read it all wrong, that the kiss actually _hadn't_ meant anything to her. That her response had been instinctual; she'd just gotten caught up in the moment. Thinking back on all the times he's admitted to being attracted to her, she'd either squeamishly struggled for words, or she'd made the kinds of comments a friend would make to extinguish the other's insecurities. And let's face it; he was lousy with the stuff.

His mind had gone back and forth like this ever since his talk with Cece. What had she been trying to tell him?

The limited interaction between him and Jess has been similar to before the kiss, but they always stayed a safe distance from each other. Usually there was some kind of literal obstacle between them, like the kitchen island or table. In confined spaces like the bathroom or on the couch, they made sure they were never alone for more than two seconds. Their conversations were always insignificant; sticking to topics like weather and new movies coming out.

Although, he was pretty sure movies were off the table now too.

About a week ago, when they were eating breakfast and talking about Warm Bodies, Jess was more spirited than he'd seen her in weeks. She was convinced, even with the zombies, she wouldn't have to cover her eyes during the entire movie. He was having such a good time disagreeing with her and teasing her about how easy it was to scare her. It had felt so normal, he didn't even think about what he said next. "I'll bet you $20, when we go see it, you'll be hiding your face against my chest and squealing before the dancing popcorn guy is even off the screen."

Her cheeks flushed and the conversation ended with both of them mumbling about the things they had to do and looking anywhere but at each other.

So, this was his life now. Standing behind a bar, with patrons whose stories he'd heard more than enough times, thinking of her.

* * *

Back at the loft he tossed his keys by the door and blessed the late hour. Winston would be at work and Schmidt would be sleeping. Jess was probably in bed too, but he moved quickly to his room anyway. He changed out of his work clothes and sat down to check his email. He really needed to stop signing up for so much junk mail. Overstock, he'd never even bought anything from them. Ripley's Believe or Not, definitely not. The AKC, no dogs allowed in the loft. Starbucks, .ever. Word of the Day, he kind of liked that one actually. LinkedIn, he was a bartender for Christ's sake.

Then there was the littering of Viagra and penile enlargement emails. He'd like to think he'd never need either of those particular items. "Ha, wouldn't it be funny if Zombies did?" He grabbed his note pad to jot down the idea and noticed something written down on a post-it.

_www SoulSearchers dot com_

_You're welcome,_

_Cece_

Nick pulled up a browser and entered in the site address. The front page was covered with happy looking people staring longingly into each other's' eyes. Across the top it read _"Are you searching for a soul to match your own? You've come to the right place! Sign up for free and start your journey towards happiness today."_

"Ugg, what the hell, Cece?" he said to his empty room. Was he really looking so pathetic that people were going to start recommending online dating to him? He was lonely, sure. But those sites are full of crazies like Angie and women in their mid-thirties listening to their uterine clock counting down. "Nooohohoo, no, nope, not happening." Soul Searchers, what a stupid name!

Well…there were a lot of pretty girls on the front page and they didn't really look so bad. It could be good research for another novel.

"Okay, I am a man, looking for a woman. CONTINUE. Zipcode. CONTINUE. Name, Jamarcus Armstrong, that's a good strong name. CONTINUE." The screen in front of him filled with 137 women who had screen names ranging from absurd to sort of witty. HotBod9320, ApplOfYrEye, HotAlienHost47 (there were forty-six before this?).

He opened the advanced search to narrow his results. "Age 25-35 and is a non-smoker. Salary of less than $40,000 a year. Don't need to be disappointing before they even get to know me, right? Can you really choose a size? Okay, petit. And, enter. Who the hell am I talking to?"

Twenty one matches remained.

_DallasDebi4U – 28, blond, green eyes, barista, 5'5", athletic. Loves dogs, watching football, plays tennis. Favorite color is green, to match her eyes. Favorite food is veggie pizza. Favorite book is Marley and Me, also her favorite movie._

_FloridaRelo1690 – 31, blond, blue eyes, retail manager, 5'4", thin. Loves shopping, nights out with the girls, and traveling. Favorite color is sky blue. Favorite food is sushi. Favorite book is The Secret. Favorite movie is The Notebook._

_NoSafeW0rds – 35, red hair, green eyes, specialty store owner, 5'5", shapely. Loves motorcycles, lightning storms, and reptiles. Favorite food steak. Favorite book is 50 Shades of Grey. Favorite movie is Fight Club._

_ItsJustJess – 33, brunette, blue eyes, teacher, 5'6", average. Loves spending time with her friends, helping students, and pajamas. Favorite color is yellow, like the sun. Favorite food is cupcakes. Favorite book is anything from the Curious George series. Favorite movie, anything with a happy ending._

His jaw dropped when he read the description. Clicking on the profile, he just stared at the attached image. It was a candid photo, not posed, focusing on boobs and pouty lips. Heavy dark curls framed her delicate features perfectly. The smile was warm and honest, beautifully lighting up her eyes which somehow looked both kind and mischievous at the same time.

His chest constricted at the implication. His moment had passed, she was moving on.


	4. Teddy

**Again, thank you to all who've read/reviewed/faved/followed this story. I love the encouragement and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

**I do not own anything New Girl.**

Jess hadn't received any messages while she and Cece were at lunch, but by the next morning she had five waiting. Although, technically there were only four guys, since one of them had written a very weird second attempt only twenty minutes after his first.

LonelyBoy8548 – Hey ItsJustJess, my name is Jake and I'm 32. I saw your profile pop up in my new matches and wanted to say hi. I've been on SoulSearchers for 5 years now, trying to find "the one", but I haven't been on more than a few dates with the same woman. Are you finally the right girl for me?

TeamTank489 – What's up ItsJustJess. My name's Gregg. I'm 37 and I've been in the military since I was 18, just got discharged. I've spent a lot of time around women who need to prove they are as tough as any other guy. I'm looking for someone who's the absolute opposite of that. I'd like to find someone who needs me to take care of them, who isn't always trying to boss me around or one-up me. If this sounds like you, send me a note.

47LayDZman – girl, yo pics so fine. where u been all my life. we gotta talk soon. hit me up!

TeddyLundy34 – Hi, my name's Ted (34) and I just moved to the area, so I joined Soul Searchers to meet new people. Your profile popped up this morning and I thought your picture was beautiful, really different from all the others I've seen. That probably seems a little shallow, but then when I read your profile it made me smile. I also enjoy a good Curious George story once in a while. : ) You're actually the first person I've sent a message to and I have to say I'm a little nervous about it. I'd love to get to know you better, maybe over coffee sometime?

47LayDZman – hey girl, havnt heard from u. seriously we should HOOK up!

Jess reread all the messages. Jake was obviously looking for exactly what Soul Searchers toted, but his expectations might be a little high if he hadn't found someone worthy of more than a few dates in five years? Gregg was more difficult to read. She couldn't decide if he just wanted someone special to dote on or if he was a complete Neanderthal. 47LayDZman, who didn't even bother to provide a real name, was definitely not her type. He probably just trolled these sites looking for desperate girls to sleep with.

But, then there was Ted. She'd blushed both times while reading his compliment about her picture and smiled at his charming comment about Curious George. It's hard to tell if someone is genuine in a few short sentences, but she'd felt there was something kind of special about this guy. Getting to know him better wouldn't hurt anything, would it?

* * *

Cece answered on the third ring. "Hey Jess, what's up?"

In her best robotic voice Jess said, "I've got mail."

"If I didn't know you were smiling like a fool at your clever 1990's reference, I'd say you were happy about that. So let's hear what your Prince Charmings had to say."

Jess enjoyed Cece's commentary as she read the messages to her. "Jake's going to compare you to his mother the entire way through your date. Gregg will either buy you a bouquet of flowers or chain you to a radiator. 47LayDZman likes big butts and he cannot lie."

"Now who's the one with the 1990's references?" Jess said grinning. "So, are you going to tell me what you thought about Ted? He seems pretty normal and kind of sweet to me."

Cece weighed her answer carefully. Initially she'd gotten Jess to sign up for two reasons. If Jess got a glimpse of all the different types of people out there, maybe she'd start to really consider what she wanted in a man. What "the full package" meant to her. The second reason was to try and give Nick that extra push to do the same.

She thought her intention was to get them to see that in each other, but she was starting to wonder if they were really meant to be together. They fought all the time, their personalities were usually like oil and water. Cece knew first hand what that kind of intensity was like. It's amazing at the time, but it cuts so much deeper when things go bad. If a single kiss could push them into avoidance overdrive, she could only imagine what the fallout could be like if they took leap into an actual relationship.

"I think you should reply to him. Have coffee, see what you think. That's what these sites are for, right?"

Jess thought she'd heard something in Cece's voice when she'd told her to reply, but she didn't recognize the tone. Slightly thrown by it, she asked, "Are you sure, I mean this guy could be a mass murder who just moved to town, narrowly escaping the clutches of the law?"

"Jess, what does that even… no, never mind. Just pick a public place and make sure to plan something for before and after so you don't have to be there any longer than you want."

"Alright, okay. You've convinced me. I have to admit I have butterflies Cece. This is my first real online dating experience. Yikes and yay!"

Cece could tell Jess was getting nervous and if her nervousness got out of hand she could be her own personal disaster. Trying to keep her voice soothing she simply said, "Jess, you'll be fine. Go, have a good time. Find out if Ted's the awkward, funny, nice, smart, handsome guy who's just right for you."

"Yeah, ya know what, maybe you're right. Maybe Ted's the man of my dreams, just what I'm looking for!"

"That's the spirit, Jess."

"Ok, I'll call you later to let you know if I have a date with Mr. Right. Bye Cece."

"Bye kiddo."

* * *

He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but he'd been woken by her voice in the hall. He was just going to wait until she went into her room or towards the kitchen, so he could make a break for the bathroom. When he heard her door close, he stepped out of his room, but before he could get any farther, he heard _"So, are you going to tell me what you thought about Ted? He seems pretty normal and kind of sweet to me."_

Too stunned to move, he just stood there listening to the rest of the conversation. She was already planning a date with some guy she met on the internet?

When she'd said _"Mr. Right"_, he'd nearly stormed into her room and pulled her into another passionate kiss to show her how he felt. But he'd stayed planted where he was, fists clenched, the heat of jealousy rushing through his body. That's it; he was _not_ going down without a fight.


	5. Releasing the Tiger

**None of the characters are mine, but I sure would like it if they were.**

His fists were still clenched as he paced his room like a caged animal. Okay, caged animal might be a little dramatic, but he was feeling dramatic. Dammit, why hadn't he just admitted the kiss meant something? He could have avoided all of this if he'd just grown a pair and told her how he felt.

"Ok Miller, you can do this. Breathe in, breathe out." He slapped his cheeks trying to pump himself up. "You're a writer, a romantic. All you have to do is come up with some grand gesture to sweep her off her feet. Get to it man!"

It felt like he'd been tasked with the planetary solution for the impending zombie apocalypse. He made notes, he drew pictures. He scribbled and erased. His garbage can was overflowing with crumpled pieces of note paper and in the last hour he was pretty sure he'd cursed more than his entire life combined.

Feeling defeated he collapsed onto his bed and rubbed his hands over his tired eyes, as Jamarcus mocked him from his computer screen. Why was this so hard? He'd known Jess for almost 2 years now, better than some random guy on the internet. He should know exactly what to say to her to get her to go to dinner with him.

He heard Jess's door close and then the pipes squeal as the shower turned on. As soon as he heard her start singing in the shower he slipped across the hall to her room. Spotting her phone on her nightstand he quickly sent Cece a text. "_Cece, this is Nick. I don't know if you're doing what I think you're doing, but make sure Jess doesn't miss Jamarcus Armstrong's message. Text me, I have a plan 323-555-1212"_

Quickly deleting his message to Cece, he put the phone back exactly as he'd found it and raced back to his room. There was no turning back now.

* * *

The next two days were agonizingly slow. He'd written his message to her immediately after he'd sent the text to Cece, but neither she nor Jess had responded to him. He silently hoped Cece was working her magic, because it had taken everything in him to keep his mouth shut when _Teddy_ had come to pick Jess up for their "date".

Finally, on the third morning he got a response. Before he could even log into Soul Searchers, his phone beeped with an incoming message.

"_a. you're welcome, b. don't seem desperate and respond right away, c. she prefers Italian food when she's nervous"_

A huge smile broke out on his face and he yelled down the hallway. "Hey Winnie, I need a haircut and a favor."

* * *

Winston stood in the kitchen eyeing Nick over his cup of coffee. "Nick, are you sure about this?"

With a smirk Nick asked, "When have you ever known me to put this much effort into anything?" Seeing that his friend was not amused, he grew serious. "Listen, I know it might not go the way I want, but honestly, I'm ready for whatever happens. I really am and I have to take this chance with her. For the first time in my life, I believe in myself and she's the reason I feel this way."

During his rant Nick hadn't seen the look of satisfaction – maybe even a little pride - lighting up Winston's face. He took Nick by the shoulder, steering him back on track and said, "Alright, go get your big boy pants on and let's start setting up. And by big boy pants I mean, your black slacks, olive button down and dress shoes."

Nick all but ran towards his room when Winston called after him. "White undershirt and black socks too, Nick." He laughed and shook his head when he heard the groaned reply. "Our little Nicky's all grown up."


	6. Daffy Duck Impressions

**Still not my characters even though I just said it a few minutes ago.**

Jess was just finishing getting ready for her date when she heard Winston call her name. "In here Winston."

He appeared in her door way. "Hey, Jess, I know you're on your way out, but can you come help me with something real quick?"

"Sure Winston, what's up?"

"I'm thinking about painting the threshold to the door on the roof, you know, so people don't trip over it. I can't decide on a color, so I was hoping you could give me your expert opinion."

Confused she replied, "Seems like a pretty simple decision, Winston. What do you need my help for?"

"No, yeah, I know. But Schmidt's always praying colorblindness is the issue with my wardrobe and he'd totally kill me if I goofed up the fung shu or whatever it's called. I promise it will only take a minute, no heavy lifting or anything." Thinking he might be losing her, he complimented her on her own attire. "By the way, did I mention how lovely you look tonight, Ms. Day?"

Blushing slightly, she told him "Flattery will get you nowhere mister, but if you promise to make it quick… I don't want to be late for my date; punctuality is a total turn off."

"Totally! I pinky swear, you will _not_ be late to your date."

"Alright then, let's go pick us a paint color."

* * *

They chatted pleasantly on the way to the roof about the different warning colors and their meanings. Winston opened the door for her and as she stepped through, she stopped dead in her tracks. Staring down at her feet she saw flower petals scattered all around her. When she looked up at Winston she saw that he was smiling. He moved to the side and turned his gaze away from her. She followed his line of sight and gasped softly as she took in her surroundings. The roof was lit by delicate paper lamps and music was playing quietly in the background. It was her idea of a modern-day fairytale. Out of the shadows Nick appeared before them, hands holding a small bunch of purple lilacs.

Winston gave Nick a small nod as he stepped back through the door way leaving them.

"Nick? What is all this?" She said, breathlessly.

"It's just me, Jess. I… I have some things I need to say to you before I lose my nerve. So please, just don't say anything more. Ok?"

She could only nod in acceptance, because she was at a complete loss for words.

He didn't want to rush through what he was about to say, so he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Looking at her once again he saw the anticipation in her eyes which gave him strength to go on.

"Jess, ever since I met you, I've always known there was something special about you, amazing even. Until recent events, I've been telling myself you were just a fantastic friend to me. You dare me to do things I would've never done before I met you and I don't just mean jumping into the ocean, because I think I have a tumor. You challenge me to be kind to people I never would have given a second chance. You make me want to be free like you, to not be afraid of being hopeful. You force me, doing that weird impersonation, to believe that I really do deserve happiness.

Because of you and everything you've shown me, I can say this without fear. I don't regret kissing you, not even a little bit. I'd thought about it a thousand times before and it ended up being a thousand times more incredible than I'd ever imagined. I'm sorry I lied to you and told you it was a nothing kiss. I'm even sorrier that I lied to you a second time when I said I wouldn't do it again. The truth is, I want to kiss you again, a bunch more times in fact. I want to take your friendship box and your boyfriend box and build a new box just for us. We can even use pink glitter glue and write Nick – heart - Jess on the side of it if you want.

Maybe I'm completely crazy and this is a phenomenal backfire on my part. If that's the case, even if you don't want to be an "us", I need you to know I'll still be here for you, day or night. Because I've come to realize that your happiness means everything to me, _you_ mean everything to me. But, and this is a _big_ but, if you'd have me, I'd get into ridiculous screaming matches with you over which way is best to roll the toilet paper. I'd help you hang new curtains so you don't have to worry about gang violence. I'd do the chicken dance every morning, while singing Time of My Life, just to make you smile. I would do everything I could to be the kind of guy who deserves to be with someone like you."

Now that everything was out in the open he suddenly felt unsure of himself. He looked down at his hands which still grasped the flowers like a lifeline and shuffled from one foot to the other. When he heard her footsteps approaching, he glanced up at her. She was so close, but the dim lighting made her expression impossible to read.

Very quietly she said, "First of all, over the top is the best way to roll toilet paper and second, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

When he saw the little tug at the corner of her mouth, he released all his pent up anxiety with a quick exhale. Mirroring her slight grin he said, "I disagree and so what if I am?"

"Well, I have a date that I'm quite late for and he could be the _one,_ you know. His name is Jamarcus Armstrong. You wouldn't happen to know him, would you?"

"I do in fact know of Jamarcus and I think you might be right."

"How so?"

"I bet he could be the one, if he tried really hard."

She took a step forward, only mere inches away now. "Well, if he's anything like you, I don't think he'll have to try very hard."

"I have an idea." He said, his voice low and steady.

"What's that?"

"How about you blow off that Jamarcus guy and let me break a promise I made to you?"

She moved her hands up to rest on his chest and said, "I have an even better idea. How about I pretend Jamarcus was a figment of my imagination and call mulligan on that promise?" Before he could answer she clutched his shirt, stepped up on her tippy toes and kissed him. Without hesitation he returned the kiss, flowers in one hand set low on her back, the other placed lightly on her cheek. It wasn't an intense blazing kiss like their first. This was soft and slow, expressing the deeper emotions they'd both been holding back.

He could have stayed that way forever, but when he reluctantly pulled away from her lips, he said, "Yeah, I like your idea better. Jessica Day, will you be my girlfriend?"

She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, then with her best Daffy Duck impression, she said, "Absolutely, Nicholas!"

He pulled her into a strong hug and feigning serious said, "Good, but promise me you won't ever say it like that again."


End file.
